Lifestyle Club Etiquette: The Complete Guide

The Golden Rule: Consent

Consent is the foundation of every lifestyle club. It must be enthusiastic, ongoing, and can be withdrawn at any time. "Maybe" means no. Silence means no. Anything other than a clear "yes" means no.

Most clubs will immediately remove anyone who violates consent rules, with permanent bans for serious violations.

Communication With Your Partner

Before visiting any club, have an honest conversation with your partner about:

• What you're each comfortable with
• Hard boundaries that won't change
• A signal or safe word to check in with each other
• How you'll handle unexpected situations

Revisit these conversations regularly. Boundaries can and do evolve.

Phone and Camera Policies

Almost every lifestyle club bans phones and cameras in play areas. Many require you to leave your phone at the door or in a locker. This protects everyone's privacy.

Never photograph or record anyone without explicit consent, even in social areas where phones may be permitted. Violating this rule typically results in an immediate ban.

Hygiene

• Shower before arriving (and after, if the club has facilities)
• Fresh breath matters — bring mints
• Clean, trimmed nails
• Fresh clothing and undergarments
• Many clubs provide towels, but bring your own to be safe

Social Area Behavior

The social areas of a lifestyle club function much like any upscale bar or lounge:

• Introduce yourself to others — the community is social by nature
• Buy rounds, share snacks if it's BYOB
• Dance, mingle, and enjoy the atmosphere
• Don't monopolize one couple or person's attention
• Accept rejection gracefully — it's not personal

Play Area Etiquette

• Ask before joining. Even if a door is open, always ask.
• Don't hover. Brief watching in open areas is fine; lingering is not.
• Clean up after yourself. Use and dispose of provided supplies properly.
• Respect closed doors. A closed door or curtain means private.
• Leave when asked. If someone asks you to leave, leave immediately.

What NOT to Do

• Don't get excessively drunk — most clubs will ask you to leave
• Don't bring drama or jealousy to the club
• Don't gossip about who you saw or what happened
• Don't out other members outside the club — discretion is expected
• Don't assume that attendance implies willingness to participate